detachment

i never really thought of myself as the kind of person who was overly attached to material stuff (except for my shoes and books, of course). I don’t mind getting cheapo clothes from tutuban and various other sale bins. i don’t care that my iPod is four years old already and creaks like an old man’s knees. i don’t care that my mobile phone doesn’t have all that new-fangled technology that my non-techie brain cannot comprehend. it matters very little to me that my jewelry and bags and watches are all fun and not serious and not the type that will appreciate with time, nor are they the type that can be handed down to the next generation.

and all this time, i didn’t mind having regular stuff because i figured if they were taken away from me, then it’s okay. i realize i accumulate stuff for their fun value and throwaway attitude.

until my phone crashed.

my beautiful girly pink phone that trills “chweet chweet text message” when you SMS me and sings “this is the story of a girl who cried a river and drowned the whole world, but she looks so sad in photographs, I absolutely love her, when she smiles” when you call me.

my pretty pink phone that holds my illegal photos of the Sistine chapel ceiling, the live recordings of the Duomo church bells in Florence and Noel Gallagher singing Champagne Supernova at an Oasis concert in Singapore, and other photos of my feet in Bohol, Bangkok, Mindoro, Rome, Venice, Glasgow, CamSur, Boracay, Malaybalay, and Romblon. and a photo of the words Les Miserables on a London West End theatre stage.

my arte pink phone that contains ten years worth of HR and headhunting contacts, contacts that have been the foundation of my life as an HR girl. little known phone numbers of CIOs and group heads of banks. work phone numbers of colleagues and competitors in the HR world. email addresses of headhunters.

gone. all gone.

so now i am rebuilding what in all honesty cannot be rebuilt. and yes, i am an idiot for not backing up any of the information in my phone.

and i am not as detached as i thought i was. i am attached to everything in that phone and all that it represents.

i’m so upset. i need a nap.